THE Joe Grind phenomenon is nothing new, and neither is the huge double standard when it comes to the gender of the cheating party. Women, of course, have always been judged more harshly. And while the stigma might still deter some women from entertaining a Plan B, studies show that as more women evolve, the gender infidelity gap is narrowing. Oh, and guess what else? More women are openly admitting to dishing out the same medicine that men have been serving for decades, without any real consequences.
All Woman asked a few women to share what drove them into the arms of their men on the side. Their responses are below:
Michelle, 34, health-care practitioner:
I have a side man because there is no love in my house. I can't tell when last my man told me he loved me, or even did something nice. It's always me doing the small things he likes, showing love, making an effort. So when a colleague started giving me attention, it was consistent and genuine and I just could not resist him. It's the happiest I have been in two years. We have our agreement, though; we make each other happy then go back to our realities. I prefer a few moments of happiness to constant misery.
Sasha, 27, social media coordinator:
When you are not being loved and taken care of, it's easy to find comfort in the arms of someone who will give you that. It's that simple. The man on the side gives me that. I know some people would say I am young and it makes sense to just start over and not to tie myself to this man, but I think this is just a phase. I am just making up for my loneliness and just the general dissatisfaction with the relationship. By the way, we are engaged and will start counselling soon, so I think that will help.
Dacia, 32, gas station supervisor:
My side man is my money man. He fills a gap that my right out man can't. I work, but not that much, and my main man is ambitious, he pays the bills, but in terms of giving me money to enjoy myself, his money can't stretch that far.
So I have a little fun on the side and it's a man that I rate, but it is not a case of being in love. There is no disrespect and my main man doesn't know about him.
Meeka, 29, customer service rep:
I started dating my side guy when my baby daddy went to prison. He was in there for three years and I could get the love, support, and financial help. Of course, my baby's father didn't know about it and my side guy and I continue to mess around. I got attached to him because he brings out a side of me that I like, and he is just really in tune with me and always has mine and my child's best interest at heart. There's no doubt that if my baby's father and I split tomorrow or if he goes back to jail I will move out and away from the community to be with my side guy. It is just that my baby's father was there for me in the toughest time of my life and I love him for that.
Evie, 43, operations manager:
The gentleman I have on the side is just for sex. My husband is the boring type, same old, same old every time, and he is getting older and EVERY part of his body has gotten soft. It feels good to have a fountain of youth flowing inside me a few times a month. He doesn't ask for much; he is spontaneous, fun, knows my love language and all. He is also good to talk to and there is no judgement or anything. He is 29 and has something good going for him.
Kelly, 21, bartender:
A side man is important because these men are wicked out here. I know I am getting bun so I am giving it back, and if my main man decides to leave me for his side chick, I can have this man. In other words, my side man is like my tank at home — not because there is water in the pipe means that I don't have any use for it or it should be left empty, because if water should go away it's the best thing in life.